Former FTX CEO Trades Crypto for Fish in Jail

Despite skepticism, SBF Reportedly Trading Mackerel in Prison

SBF Trading Mackerel in Prison Report

You won’t believe what former FTX CEO, Sam Bankman-Fried, has been up to in jail! Forget about trading digital assets, because now he’s diving into the world of fish trading.

According to an article by The Wall Street Journal, our favorite crypto entrepreneur recently swapped four packets of Mackerel, affectionately known as “macks” in prison slang, for a much-needed haircut before his criminal trial. Who knew fish could be so valuable behind bars?

You see, ever since tobacco products were banned, Mackerel packets have become the hottest commodity in U.S. prisons. They’ve skyrocketed to the top of the value hierarchy, leaving postage stamps and soup packets in their wake. You can grab a packet of macks at the Metropolitan Detention Center (MDC), where Bankman-Fried is currently housed, for just $1.30.

But that’s not the only surprise. Inside Bankman-Fried’s cell, he’s rubbing shoulders with none other than former Honduran president Juan Hernández and a former senior Mexican police officer. It’s an unlikely trio, to say the least. Who knows what kind of fishy business they’ll get up to together?

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Of course, some skeptics on social media questioned the legitimacy of these reports. But controversial tech figure, Martin Shkreli, also known as “pharma bro,” confirmed that macks are indeed a staple currency in U.S. jails. Shkreli even took to X (formerly Twitter) to share his thoughts, claiming that paying four macks for a haircut was a “rip off.” Yet, he admitted it was still a better deal than trading a whole book of stamps.

According to Shkreli, the market for macks is booming at the MDC compared to regular state federal prisons. But he’s cautious about hoarding too many fish packs, warning that anything over 500 becomes suspicious. Who knew fish could make your cellmate cast a suspicious eye your way?

Now, here’s a hilarious twist: Bankman-Fried, being a vegan, wouldn’t even eat mackerel himself. So, in an odd turn of events, he’s trading a fish he won’t touch for goods he needs. Talk about stepping out of your comfort zone for the sake of commerce!

In other news, the court of appeals recently denied Bankman-Fried’s request to be released from prison while he awaits his sentencing hearing, scheduled for March 28 next year. It’s a setback for sure, but it won’t stop our fearless fish trader from making waves in the jailhouse economy.

So, the next time you think about dabbling in crypto trading, remember that it’s not the only market where fortunes can be made. Just ask Bankman-Fried, who’s proving that fish can be just as lucrative (and maybe even smellier) than digital assets.

Have you ever had a wild and unexpected trading experience? Share your stories in the comments below, and let’s keep the laughter rolling in the world of digital investments!

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