FinCEN’s Mind-Blowing Grab for Private Info: A Comedy of Errors

FinCEN proposes crazy special measures.

Hey there, fellow digital asset investors! Buckle up because we’re about to dive into the mind-blowingly overbroad and comprehensive proposal of the, um, hilarious and definitely hip, Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN). Brace yourselves for some serious laughter and some not-so-serious privacy concerns!

So, what’s the deal with this proposal, you may ask? Well, let me break it down for you in a way that will have you chuckling and scratching your head at the same time. FinCEN wants to collect ALL the information, literally ANYTHING and EVERYTHING they can get their hands on. It’s like they’re on a never-ending scavenger hunt for private information, and you know what? They’ve hit the jackpot!

According to their plan, all regulated entities like VASPs, banks, and even entities as exciting as casinos, need to submit reports of any transactions involving mixing within 30 days. Hold on a minute! Mixing, you say? Well, hold your horses because the definition of mixing is so broad that it’s basically like saying every time you combine milk and cereal in your bowl, you’re creating your very own financial cocktail. Cheers to that!

Let’s take a closer look at the definitions of mixing provided in the proposal, shall we? Brace yourselves because it’s about to get really wild. Mixing includes pooling or aggregating funds from multiple persons, wallets, addresses, or accounts. Wait, so if you and your buddies decide to put your allowances together to buy some Bitcoin, congratulations, you’re officially mixologists! And that’s not all, my friends. Using programmatic or algorithmic code to coordinate, manage, or manipulate the structure of a transaction is also considered mixing. So, anyone using the Lightning Network or enjoying a good old Coinjoin is now a master mixologist too. We should all be proud!

• Quick look at Polkadot Q3 financial report spending $21 million, spending money really feels like it’s in a bull market?
• Tracking ‘Fake Data’ on the Blockchain How to Find the Right Airdrop?
• 2023 Q4 popular token unlocking inventory and price fluctuation prediction

But wait, there’s more! FinCEN defines mixing as splitting funds for transmittal and transmitting the funds through a series of independent transactions. So, if you’re divvying up your funds among different wallets or accounts, you’re not only engaging in some financial acrobatics but also officially a mixing superstar. Who knew being a money splitter could be so much fun?

Let’s not forget about those single-use wallets, addresses, or accounts. Apparently, their existence is mixing too. So, if you’re a responsible Bitcoiner who doesn’t reuse addresses, congratulations, you’re now a certified mixing aficionado! Don’t forget to put that on your resume.

Oh, and here’s a real kicker! Exchanging between types of cryptocurrencies or other digital assets is also considered mixing. So, every time you swap your NFTs or gamble with those oh-so-shameful shitcoins, you are a mixologist extraordinaire. Now, isn’t that something to brag about at parties?

And last but not least, facilitating user-initiated delays in transactional activity is yet another act of pure mixing genius. So, if you’re setting up timelocks, using 2FA rate-limited multisig, or just scheduling your withdrawals in advance, congratulations! You’re now part of the prestigious mixing club.

But fear not, my friends! FinCEN graciously carves out an exception for regulated businesses and institutions. They want to make sure these poor souls can continue operating without interference, as long as they provide the required records to law enforcement when needed. How considerate of them!

Now, let’s talk about the juicy stuff. What kind of information are they after, you may ask? Well, hold onto your hats because this is where it gets really interesting. Within 30 days of noticing a mixing transaction, FinCEN wants to know the following:

• The amount of cryptocurrency transferred, because hey, what’s a bit of transparency among friends?
• The cryptocurrency involved, because variety is the spice of life, right?
• The mixer protocol/service/etc. used, because who doesn’t love a good party with mixers?
• Any addresses associated with the mixer used, because they want to make sure everyone gets an invite.
• Any addresses associated with the user who mixed, because, well, no party is complete without a guest list.
• The TXID of the relevant transaction, because, you know, they gotta keep track of everything.
• The date of transaction, because why not add some flair to the mix?
• Any IP addresses associated with the transaction, because they want to know who’s dancing at this party.
• And lastly, a “narrative” explaining the context, because hey, who doesn’t love storytelling?

But that’s not all, folks! They also want your personal information, because what’s privacy anyway? They need your full name, date of birth, address, email address, and even your IRS Taxpayer Identification Number or foreign equivalent. It’s like they’re crafting a personalized party invitation just for you!

Now, here’s the best part. FinCEN claims that this proposal will help combat money laundering and terrorist financing. They present all these factual examples of bad people mixing funds, like ransomware and cross-chain bridge hacks. But here’s the punchline—they can’t determine the percentage of legitimate mixing because of a lack of data. How convenient, right? So, when it suits their argument, they have all the evidence in the world, but when it comes to weighing the beneficial uses of mixing, well, let’s just pretend that data doesn’t exist. Hilarious, right?

But here’s the thing, my fellow digital asset enthusiasts. This is no laughing matter. We need to take action and think about how we interact with Bitcoin in a world that’s increasingly unfriendly. We must fight against this overbroad and absurd proposal that threatens our privacy and freedom.

So, let’s rally together! Spread the word, raise awareness, and let your voices be heard. It’s time to show FinCEN that we won’t let them turn Bitcoin into a punchline. We’re here to stay, and we’re not backing down from this comedy of errors.

Remember, my friends, actions on the part of the government are no longer silly jokes that can be easily ignored. It’s time for all of us to take this seriously and fight for our rights.

Now, over to you. What are your thoughts on this mind-blowing proposal? Will you join the fight against it? Let’s start a conversation in the comments below!

Original Article

We will continue to update Blocking; if you have any questions or suggestions, please contact us!